So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Randomize
