i jhust puked up my retainher.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
