wake up i wanna do it froggy style
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
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