some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Randomize
