I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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