i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
