yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
