you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
