You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Randomize
