so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
