I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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