he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
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