im so drunk with asians
where?
always
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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