On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Screwed.edu
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
