the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
