is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
