I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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