Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
