morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
