The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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