how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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