dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
