Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
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