if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
