dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
