we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
