the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
