if i can run in heels then i can drive
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
