I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
im holly from the hills drunk
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
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