I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Randomize
