Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
