I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
