I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
