I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
