If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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