Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
