Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
