I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
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