So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
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