I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
When did angry sex become our thing?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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