last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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