I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Randomize
