Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
