Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Randomize
