I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Randomize
