I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
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