omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
