You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
