bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Threesome in a minivan. New low
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
