Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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