ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Randomize
