Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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