i barfeds in our rink
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
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